Which football movie character would make the best draft pick?
With a week until the NFL Draft, NewOrleansSaints.com asks fans which fake football movie star would make the best draft pick in a 32-player bracket.
There has been an immeasurable amount of 2016 NFL Draft coverage. To take a break from the numerous hot takes and mock drafts, NewOrleansSaints.com is asking fans to give their opinion on another draft: #SaintsMovieDraft. Fans will vote in a 32-player bracket comprised of four regionals: Quarterbacks, Wide Receivers/Running Backs, Linemen/Kickers and Linebackers/Defensive Backs. This bracket only consists of characters from movies not based on true stories (So no Friday Night Lights, Rudy, Remember the Titans ETC)
Round of 32: Thursday, April 21-Friday, April 22
Sweet 16: Saturday, April 23-Sunday, April 24 VOTE NOW
Elite Eight: Monday, April 25
Final Four: Tuesday, April 26
Championship: Wednesday, April 27
Winner announced on Draft Day: Thursday, April 28
Below is the Bracket (Click here for a larger PDF version)
ROUND of 32: Quarterbacks
1. Willie Beamen vs 8. Uncle Rico
QB Willie Beamen (Jamie Foxx) - Any Given Sunday
Crazy to think that we chose someone who began as a third-string QB, reading a newspaper on the bench, who literally puked on the field before his first snap, as the top seed but there's no denying "Steamin" Willie Beamen showcased the full package: physical ability, confidence, leadership, charisma and marketability. All of those traits made him the top choice for the most competitive division of the bracket.
QB Uncle Rico (Jon Gries) - Napoleon Dynamite
Rico's popularity could make him a favorite for an early upset. Sure we haven't seen game tape on Napoleon Dynamite's relative, but just the thought of having a quarterback that can throw a football a quarter mile and/or over a mountain may be too good to pass up.
4. Joe Kane vs 5. Shane Falco
QB Joe Kane (Craig Sheffer) - The Program
"Kane is Able" was the name of the Heisman campaign for this Sports Illustrated cover boy. A drinking problem led to an in-season rehab stint that derailed his Heisman hopes. However, like all movie heartthrob quarterbacks, Kane overcame the adversity by throwing a game-winning touchdown and leading the ESU Timberwolves to a bowl game. QB Shane Falco (Keanu Reeves) - The Replacements
A Sean Payton-inspired arrival to the pros as he became a starting QB after the league went on strike, the Washington Sentinel signal-caller showed all the traits you want in your quarterback. Despite some pundits saying he folds in pressure situations, Falco's leadership was highlighted in the closing minutes as he launched a game-winning bomb to Brian Murphy to send his team to the playoffs to the tunes of David Bowie's "Heroes."
QB Paul Crewe (Burt Reynolds/Adam Sandler) - The Longest Yard
His mythical chest hair alone gets him on this list, but accuracy, quick feet and leadership skills in encouraging other prisoners to join the squad pad his resume nicely. Although point shaving allegations tarnish his stock, it's not enough to keep him off the list.
QB Flash Gordon (Sam J. Jones) - Flash Gordon
I know what you are thinking – how does a guy who literally saves planet earth end up as low as a sixth seed? Well that's the problem – this is a draft of best movie football players, not super heroes. We didn't see much of his football play, and it's hard to rank him high when he has so much on his plate. The beloved Jets QB does get bonus points for the best name in the bracket.
QB Johnny Utah (Keanu Reeves) - Point Break
(Oddly the second Ohio State QB played by Keanu Reeves in the bracket)
The legendary Ohio State quarterback would have a strong case for No. 1 seed if not for his oft-injured knee. The Rose Bowl quarterback may be the quickest learner in the group (he learned how to surf in one afternoon!). The nagging knee handcuffed him at some of his most critical moments, most notably chasing down Bodhi. Was jumping out of a plane without a chute a sign of courage? Recklessness? Both? For you to decide.
QB Jonathan Moxon (James Van Der Beek) - Varsity Blues
"Mox" was a debatable selection for this draft as the soon-to-be Brown University enrollee was originally a backup who enjoyed reading on the sideline more than watching the game. However, when Billy Bob went down, allowing Lance Harbor to get crushed, Moxon stepped up to the challenge. His true leadership was shown off the field – when he stood up to his football obsessed father ("I DON'T WANT YOUR LIFE!") and made his corrupt, legendary football coach stand down.
ROUND of 32: Wide Receivers and Running Backs
1. RB/KR Earl Megget vs. 8. WR Air Bud
RB/KR Earl Megget (Nelly) - The Longest Yard
His Madden-esque spin moves and hurdles put him at the top of our skill players, not to mention his blazing speed that makes him double as an elite kick returner. Megget's athleticism was even more impressive once he got some proper cleats from Caretaker (Chris Rock). He also showcased his calmness under pressure when he didn't allow Stone Cold Steve Austin and Kevin Nash to bait him into a fight in the library.
WR Air Bud (Buddy) - Air Bud: Golden Retriever
A high-risk pick, being a golden retriever and all, but also a wideout with HUGE upside. As high of a motor as you can get. Analytics-obsessed sports analysts will preach that the mathematics of dog years should prevent him from advancing to the next round, but you can't deny the marketability of having a canine on the roster. The unique sponsorships and fan appeal will give your team a new level of national recognition.
RB Darnell Jefferson (Omar Epps) - The Program
A highly-touted recruit for a big program that lived up to the hype. After an earlier season fumbling issue, the freshman cured his drops after the coach ordered him to carry a football all around campus. Jefferson stole the starting running back's job and girlfriend. His cold-blooded mentality helped make him an electrifying player.
WR Charlie Tweeder (Scott Caan) - Varsity Blues
Tweeder is without a doubt the most energetic player in the group. His partying will have to be toned down, but his passion and slot receiver skill set could push him far in this bracket.
WR Rod Tidwell (Cuba Gooding Jr.) - Jerry Maguire
Arguably the most famous football star in the bracket. Tidwell is a proven and undeniable talent, but his personality hurt him in his seeding. It's hard to sell yourself as a team guy when the main thing you are known for is screaming "Show me the money!" The Cardinals recently chronicled his journey.
WR Phillip Elliott (Nick Nolte) - North Dallas Forty
One of the toughest prospects in this bracket, the North Dallas Bulls wideout catches everything that comes his way. However, his constant run-ins with his head coach and the fact that his team hired a detective to follow him, will cause some to hesitate to select him. **
RB/KR Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks) - Forrest Gump
Gump is an All-American at Alabama who ran kickoffs for touchdowns while going untouched – need we say more? Would also own the locker room ping pong tournaments.
RB Spike Hammersmith (Sam Horrigan) - Little Giants
"He was bred for football glory," preached Spike's dad Mike Hammersmith. That may be true, I mean the first skin he ever touched was a pigskin, he bench presses twice his body weight and Hammersmith massages his hamstrings with evaporated milk every night before he goes to bed. But can you really rank him any higher than seventh seed after he quit on the Giants? The first time he faced adversity he hopped in an O'Shea Chevrolet sports car and peeled out on the Giants. That level of betrayal is hard to forget.
ROUND of 32: Linemen and Kickers
1. OT Ogre vs 8. K Ray Finkle
OT Ogre (Donald Gibb) - Revenge of the Nerds
Certainly won't be getting the nerd vote in this bracket. Not known for his intelligence, the Alpha-Beta jock showcased his strength in bench press contests and throwing nerds off of frat houses.
K Ray Finkle (Sean Young) - Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
"Laces out" - two words that haunt Finkle to this day. The most notorious participant in this bracket, added to the bracket purely out of sympathy. The 26-yard potential game-winning field goal that he missed in Super Bowl 17 had a lasting impact on the city of Miami and on an up-and-coming pet detective.
4. GRudy Zolteck vs. 5. G Ed Lawrence
G Rudy Zolteck (Michael Zwiener) - Little Giants
"Football is 80 percent mental and 40 percent physical" - the magical words of young Rudy Zolteck. Sure he wasn't good enough to make the Cowboys, but he has plenty of heart and some lethal "premium skunk" farts, two things you can't teach. Kevin O'Shea called him a wuss for picking puffy Cheetos over crunchy but O'Shea didn't take a leveling hit from Ice Box, get up and take a bite out of his mom-made peanut butter sandwich as if nothing happened.
G Ed Lawrence (John Goodman) - Everybody's All-American
Being an LSU player will help his case with the regional market. He is a crazy player on the field but crazier off of it which unfortunately led to his demise.
G Billy Bob (Ron Lester) - Varsity Blues
How can you not love a player that drives a pickup with a pet pig named Bacon while eating waffles and chugging syrup? Unfortunately for Billy Bob, a concussion led him to blacking out during a game, allowing the star quarterback Lance Harbor to get blindsided and suffer a season-ending injury. Billy Bob was an emotional roller coaster throughout the season due to the incident, his injuries and heartless coach Kilmer criticizing his play. Billy Bob showed true grit and heart at the end though as he scored on a fluke play when he bulldozed his way into the endzone to give his team the district title.
K Lucy Draper (Kathy Ireland) - Necessary Roughness
We didn't see Draper kick many times but she had one of the best football movie moments ever when she kicked a game-tying 34-yard field goal in the pouring rain to give the miserable Texas State University Fightin' Armadillos their first non-loss of the season.
K Nigel 'The Leg' Gruff (Rhys Ifans) – The Replacements
Insane leg strength that can boot a 65-yard game winner. However, his habit of smoking on the field and gambling on games are huge red flags.
C Manumana (Peter Navy Tuiasosopo) - Necessary Roughness
The humble voice of reason in the Armadillos locker room. Helped Lucy Draper fit in the alpha male locker room. Along with his chivalry and leadership, his massive strength and size give him plenty of intangibles to support his case for an early round upset.
ROUND of 32: Linebackers and Defensive Backs
1.LB Bobby Boucher vs. 8. S Trumaine
LB Bobby Boucher (Adam Sandler) - The Waterboy
One of the heavy favorites in this bracket as a Louisiana boy and a once-in-a-lifetime talent. A legendary tackler who covers the entire field. Not an injury risk as long as he has some high-quality H2O. Don't you dare talk about his momma!
S Trumaine (Wesley Snipes) – Wildcats
This great of a ballhawk is only seeded so low because of his criminal off-the-field activities. If he spent less time hot-wiring cars and more time in the film room he might be at the top of this group **
LB Vontae Mack (Chadwick Boseman) - Draft Day
It maybe egotistical, crazy or both, but a draft pick calling the head coach of the team with the No. 1 pick in the NFL Draft to tell him to select him takes guts. The All-American Ohio State LB's brass play paid off as the Browns selected him with the top pick.
MLB Charles Jefferson (Forest Whitaker) - Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Jefferson is an angry man on the gridiron and plays with no regard for his opponent's health, especially when he thinks you messed with his car (sorry Lincoln High) for his entire school to see. He can literally tackle the entire backfield by himself. **
OLB Becky "Ice Box" O'Shea (Shawna Waldron) - Little Giants
Robbed of a chance to be on the Cowboys by her egotistical uncle, Ice Box played with a huge chip on her shoulder and with a lethal spear that is probably still talked about to this day in Urbania, Ohio.
MLB Luther "Shark" Lavay (Lawrence Taylor) - Any Given Sunday
Now typically sawing the star QB's car in two would be frowned upon, but that's the kind of respect that a team captain like Shark had amongst his teammates. He played like the actor (Lawrence Taylor) that portrayed him – with reckless abandon. You can't doubt his dedication and toughness as he played with a broken neck that didn't heal properly thanks to the team's shady doctor
LB Alvin Mack (Duane Davis) - The Program
Coach Winters called him the "best damn defensive player" he ever coached. He was obsessed with film study, and in a locker room full of controversy he always seemed to stay above the fold and keep teammates in check when he could. Also, it got pretty dusty when he gave his mom a doorknob for the house he wanted to buy her when he turned pro. An unfortunate knee injury halted the professional career we all expected him to have.
DB Stefen Djordjevic (Tom Cruise) - All the Right Moves
A natural athlete with a strong competitive desire to go far in life. However, a costly penalty that leads to a shouting match with his head coach, where both sides call the other a quitter, is a bad look when competing in this high level of a bracket.